The low down
So many of you already know that yesterday I had to go back to the dermatologist for another mole check and of course they did find 4 more that they are 90% sure are Melanoma. We just need to wait for the pathology reports which shows if it’s in the tissues and how deep and the margins before they will actually cut them out.
If you have never been for a mole check/scan please do because you never know. It is a little embarrassing sure I mean who really wants to stand there almost totally naked and have someone scoping you over inch by inch so close? Yesterdays check/scan was a little more of an intense one and a hell of a lot more embarrassing as she had to look in my girlie parts for moles. She checked everywhere and when I say everywhere…I mean it! I also have to go to an Ophthalmologist because who knew you could have Melanoma behind your eye balls? They aren’t sure I do but need to go because the signs are there. They are being really cautious with me right now as I have so much in such severe stages.
Every time I go and hear all of this it sends me in a total downward spiral for a week or so. I do know that I am doing what I need to do and I am taking care of it but who really wants to keep being cut open and stitched up week after week? And all this shit really scares my kids. They ask all the time if I am ok and if I am going to die. I tell them the truth about everything I am going through and that I plan on being around for a very long time but I breaks my heart to have them so scared for me.
So I am off the Paxil and am now trying Lexapro and Klonopin to try to keep these feelings and anxiety at bay a little bit.
Wish me luck because here I go again for another not so fun ride!
Hang in there. I know what it is like to want to hide stuff from your kids so that there will be no anxiety. Becoming quite a pro at it. Good combo there with the Klonopin. Keep your head up and keep blogging!
Sam
http://mcniffbits.blogspot.com
bless your heart. i never even considered having moles and such in the girlie region. hmm. stay positive hope the new med combo helps!
hang in there
I'm glad you are staying on top of it with the moles but I'm sorry the news about them isn't better; I think it is good to keep the kids informed especially for them to remember to always wear sunscreen; when they get in their teens hopefully it will be in grained in them
Lexapro and Klonopin is a good combination. I was on Lexapro for a few years and it really helped me a lot. I felt a bit numb and emotionless at times, but it was a lot better than riding the waves of anxiety
do something fun if you can this weekend; won't be as fun as last weekend for sure, but get out and do something fun!
betty
It is so important to spread the word on getting skin checked... I've had some dangerous moles removed & know what you mean about the "mole search" - at least I have a very cool female dermatologist that keeps me laughing the whole time!
Will be thinking of you and hang in there. :)
Lexapro is good stuff. Stay strong. You will get through this.
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Ahh, I didn't even think of the kids response to all this! I have a few moles but never thought about getting them checked. Guess when I go to the dr. on tuesday I will ask about them!
Keep on going! You are in my thoughts!
Oh my gosh! No, I didn't know you could have it behind your eyes. I hope your new meds work- I can't imagine the stress for you and the kids right now.
It's gonna be alright..
It's just gonna take time.
And waiting sucks..
But we'll wait with you..
Have a great weekend!! :):):)
I'm so sorry. That sucks so bad, I would be a depressed mess too. I am praying for you. Stay strong!
girlie - keep your chin up!! You are doing what is right and getting checked out all the time! I have a friend who went through this - almost exactly the same - she is all good now - and just has to be VERY careful in the sun