all up in my head....maybe?
Is it all in my head, am I really just crazy, or is this normal everyday life for most people.
These are things I ask my self daily.
I talked to the doctor and told her that I didn’t think the Paxil was doing anything for me and that my nerves are shot and my anxiety was still high. She told me I need to go see someone else a behavioral health doctor, a fancy word for Psychiatrist, anyway I called and explained my case and made an appointment. Now for a real kicker they take NO insurance…NONE! So you have to pay the office visit, to the tune of $320, out of your pocket then you can submit it to your own insurance company. If that’s not enough to make someone a bit crazy I am not sure what is.
So then my mind started going {like always} and I wonder do I really need to do this or is it just all in my head. Can I do something to control my feelings on my own or can I try to do more things to take control of my own life. I don’t know the answers and I am searching and searching for them.
I do not want to become dependent on medication to control me. I do not want to be labeled unable to control life without taking a pill {yes people do label others like that} but then again I think if I don’t get help I might just turn into an alcoholic and is that any better of a label?
Crazy shit people I tell you crazy. I mean you all probably always thought I was this cool up beat mother that had her shit together….well I am not! I am a crazy kind of fucked up mother trying to get by every day without losing my mind! But then again aren’t we all?
You sound just like Garbanzo. Might I recommend you send my husband a little email and ask for his take on his own similar situation. He went rounds with this for quite a while - and has finally started to understand. His explanation might make more sense. :)
not that I'm an expert or anything like that, but have you considered therapy (counseling)? I wonder if you need to find some coping skills or behavioral modification or something to help you through your anxiety. Believe you me, I truly do understand because I have anxiety too and although it is not prevalent right now in my life, it was so at other times when even the ringing of the phone would put me into an anxiety attack. I'm thinking you want to get some control over it rather than it control you and if you don't want to be on meds longterm, I would think about perhaps counseling; just a thought
hugs to you; I know it is hard......
betty
yes we are! I find Lexapro and alcohol work well together...that is why I am so together! I'm here if you need me.
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ME ME ME!! This sounds JUST like me. I have HORRIBLE anxiety/panic attacks. I will not take medicine because then I panic about the side effects. It was so bad I didnt want to leave the house, I didnt want my kids to do anything for the fear of losing them. (what started it all was seeing my son almost die) I dont know exactly how I got control over it but I did and I seemed good for YEARS...until recently. Ive been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately and I know the reason it is brought back on...high levels of stress but I dont know how to handle it.
Guess Im not helping here.
Sorry.
I guess what Im trying to say is that you are not alone. So if you need to chat, I am here.
Let me just start by saying that I admire you for being brutally honest about it all. That's got to be the best start because your not trying to shrink away and hide it. I, too was thinking maybe you should start with counseling and see how that goes, maybe that can get to the root of why you are having some of these feelings.
Either way, I am here for you if you need anything! Send me an email anytime if you need someone to talk/vent too! I will keep you in my prayers!
I couldn't count the number of times that I was certain everyone else had their shit together and I was the only one freaking out, standing on the outside peeking into 'normal' life.. Then I figured something out.. No one has their shit together to the degree I thought was 'normal'.. Most people just hide it better!!
IMHO, talking with someone (not necessarily at $300+ an hour) would probably be better than most anything else you can do..
Re: Paxil - I've only known a couple of people who tried it but they thought the same as you..
For me, it's the occasional Xanax, just to beat back the rising anxiety that happens when it all gets to be just too much.. (See Aarrugghh!!)
Good Luck and feel free to go crazy here anytime you want!! You know we'd love you anyway!! :):)
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